Welp…
No excuse not to have blogged this time.
I’m just a fail… what can I say?
Hehe.

It’s 6:00 PM here on Sunday… Laundry Done.  Grocery Shopping Done.  Clean Apartment.  Outfit picked out for tomorrow (it’s a stone winner, of course).  Umm… I’m bored.  Haha.

I’m 5 months in to NO TEARS 2012!  …And I’m starting to feel the repercussions now.  Oh boy!  Maybe it’s just me on the inside (hopefully no one is able to tell on the outside), but I feel like I’m quick to anger or get sad or feel down lately.  Could not crying for the past 5 months hinder my ability to let things go and just get over it?  Crying is a release of some sorts, right?  I haven’t even cried over my breakup… or lack of breakup?  Or whatever that was?  (Yep, still annoyed with that…)

Anyway, I’m thinking that a way to keep it within the rules is to rent a very sad movie and just go to town with the tears!  Because movie tears don’t count, right?  hehe.

Well… just wanted to check in and let y’all know I’m still kicking!  Hope everyone is well.

-L

Hiya Worldwide Web!

What’s new?  I know I say this all the time, but I’ve been absent for a while (…obviously).  I kind of needed a life break… you know… when things get a little crazy and you just need to shut the world off for a bit and absorb everything that’s going on?  *Sigh*  It’s been a tough couple of weeks for me since everything just suddenly stopped with the guy I was seeing.  It’s just frustrating in so many ways.  1)  I hate failing at anything.  And I don’t really know if this was my fail or his.  It’s gray for me.  2)  Having conversations through IM and text instead of real life leaves things up for interpretation in probably the worst kind of way.  3)  Things just aren’t the same.  Future reference for myself… NEVER date someone you’re friends with for years beforehand!

I’m fine overall I guess, but it does suddenly just hit me and I get really sad or mad about it.  I mean if two people who like each other can’t make it work, is there hope at all?  Every time I get really excited about something, it seems to get taken away from me.  What am I supposed to do with that?  Being hopeful and positive all the time is hard.  Being a single 27 year old sucks… people give me pity looks when I say I’m single!  PITY LOOKS!  Like I’m some sad wounded animal. Or they immediately say “Oh I know someone!” …like being with just anyone is so much better than being alone regardless of if they’re for you or not.  I don’t want just anyone… I don’t want to settle because society or even myself sometimes thinks it’s just such a pity. 

Oh well… Old maid problems I guess… haha.

Lauren

I dunno what my problem is… but I’m kind of grrring at life right now!  Actually, I have an idea what my problem might be… haha…  Warning… I’m going to complain now!

I just don’t understand why… when I finally like someone, it’s just over like that!  Ugh… 5 years of being single and this is what I get?  Two months?  Haven’t I collected enough karma points in the universe?  I was kind of thinking the world was actually going to let me cash them in… but nooooo… of course not!  I’m just annoyed.  This is probably just part of the process of getting over it.  I was totally fine at first, but the more I think about it, the more it bothers me.  Maybe I just had too much change happening last week – no man anymore, new work space and parking situation, too busy to think straight, etc.

I hope that eventually, I’ll find someone who thinks I’m worth making time for.  That’s probably the worse part.  My self esteem has taken a little blow.  Sucks… but the good news is that I’m super motivated to be hot by summer… lol.  I’m doing two workouts a day for the next 10 days to get a jump start.  Hopefully the endorphins help too!  Wish me luck!

Lauren